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War of the Worlds
This movie had everything a guy like me would need: big budget, big stars, bigger explosions and a whole lotta killing! I mean, by my count there were 5235 people vaporized on screen, another 137 sucked up and sprayed out as fertilizer and at least the entire production line of cars made by Ford in 2005 were blown to smithereens on screen. All of that and the movie still managed to get a PG-13 rating… now THAT is what I call creative film making. I knew that that old Jew Spielburg had gotten an academy award for somethin’.
The flick started kinda slow. The scientologist has a job loading cargo containers at the docks (I was surprised that his skill and speed unloading ships never came into play later in the movie. I mean it IS a Spielburg film. If you are a bad ass gymnast in scene one you can bet your panties you are gonna flip around a pole and lay out a Velociraptor at the end of the movie) and his boss thinks he isn’t a real team player. He goes home and his ex-wife who obviously cheated on him cause she doesn’t like a hard working blue collar man havin’ a car engine in the kitchen. Then that bitch gives him some crap cause she is a knocked up hormonal hussy, who ruined their kids. His daughter is a tree-hugging hippie and his son thinks he is Seattle’s next big music act.
Anyway… I was about to walk out of the movie. This is s’posed to be a movie where people get blowed up and stuff, right? Well then this lightning storm starts and when that big old walking thingy first came out of the ground I almost dropped my Bud...
Movie didn’t really let up for a long time after that. In my opinion Mr. Cruise should have left his kids for dead at his ex-wife’s house. Hey kids here you go, your mom will be back after she is done screwing Tim. Figures never met anyone worth while named Tim.
Other ‘en that it was pretty good. Again the kids I mentioned really sucked and none of the chicks in the movie ever gets naked. You gotta know that when the world is gonna end somebody is bound to start getting down.
However, the movie loses some points for some very small but critical mistakes. One person died earlier in the movie (or should have, you can be damn sure if the 52 nd mountain division and their frickin’ Humvees didn’t make it then you sure as hell ain’t gonna either) an’ then shows back up in the last act. Not to mention, there is only one good looking chick (I think her name was Eowen) in the film and she is way past knocked up. I like pregnant chicks as much as the next guy but you gotta do em from behind, that damn belly gets in the way.
For creative film making this movie gets 3 out of 5 severed heads and a bottle of castor oil ‘cause some things are just too damn hard to swallow.
Brief Review:
For creative film making this movie gets 3 out of 5 severed heads and a bottle of castor oil ‘cause some things are just too damn hard to swallow.