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The Displaced Russian
In October of 1973, while trying to find yet faster way to distill vodka more than triple time, Dr. Sergei Pavlovich Karamazov by accident send his distillery back to dark aged Siberia, discovering secret of time travel for his great Soviet state. When KGB arrested Dr. Karamazov for allowing party property to cross temporal borders without proper papers, Dr. Sergei Pavlovich submit all his research to Kremlin and was given order of Lenin upon execution.
Soon after, I, Captain Afinodor Afinodorovich Afinodovsky, was contacted for participation in project: Stroganov. I was chosen because of my knowledge of history as well as understanding of pronouns and articles in the English. I was told that my part in project: Stroganov would not be different from what I used to do- drive tank. Finally, I was allowed to see why. Moscow scientists had equipped a special T72 with sickle-hammacitor, that which make time travel possible.
I was also introduced to my gunner, Lieutenant Viktor Gadkovich Torneytov who would be my only companion in first step towards Soviet superiority in time travel race. Our first mission was to travel back to before Mr. George Washington crossed the American Delaware River to fight battle of The Trenton, and ride through colonial army with machine gun and then proceed to shell Philadelphia. When depleted of artillery we were to triumphantly return home to our own time.
Unfortunately in the end, Soviet time travel program resemble too much of Soviet space program. I remember looking through scope with sickle-hammacitor melting down behind my driver’s seat and seeing nothing but grain. We ended up in Midwest state of The Southern Dakotas in July of 2005.
Mother Russia has exiled poor Gunner Torneytov and I. We have tried sending word to Moscow but they deny knowing anything about project: Stroganov. Instead they tell us that our old ways are no more, east is friendly with west. Viktor is young and rash. He believes we are to help Russia remember herself, but I stick to orders. If something goes wrong, we observe until retrieved. So we bury the machine and work for Publix bagging groceries where we met the Nuclear Chicken.
Hearing him speak our tongue made both Viktor and I homesick, so we stayed around him often, and told him stories of home. He is also nice enough to allow us to use his website to record our observations for possible retrieving by future Moscow operatives. We trust The Nuclear Chicken enough that we told him how we came to this time and that we have a nearly functional time traveling T72 buried in Midwestern US, though in fairness we told him nothing of the booby-traps.
Word of the Day:
Bolshevik
Bolsheviks ("Большеви́к", derived from the Russian word bol'shinstvo, "majority") were members of the Marxist Russian Social-Democratic Labour Party's Bolshevik faction. Bolsheviks had an extreme socialist and internationalist outlook, and were opponents of the Russian traditional statehood and the Russian Orthodox Church. The other faction of the RSDLP was known as the Mensheviks, derived from the word men'shinstvo ("minority"). The split into two factions occurred at the Second Party Congress in 1903. After the split, the Bolshevik party was designated as RSDLP(b) (Russian: РСДРП(б)), where "b" stands for "Bolsheviks".